Thursday, March 10, 2011
I believe I have found the answer to my search for truth. At least partially: Nothing matters. What I mean by that, is our incessant need to control our environment, for whatever reason, is futile, because in the end, none of it matters. Even writing this down seems rather pointless, in light of my recent understanding.
I periodically go thru phases of deep insight into myself. Eventually I learn all I can, assimilate that information, and move on. Each time I think, "What else is there to learn about myself?" thinking that I'm done. Then it happens again.
Just in this past year, I have learned:
1. The stupidity of selfishness, and to recognize it in me when it arises.
2. The stupidiy of most entertainment. It is mental slavery, and an escape.
3. The true nature of greed, and how it has seeped into all facets of communal life.
4. That all living beings are worthy of love and honor.
5. That there is no "good" or "evil." Just positive and negative. Both have the same goal, happiness. Positive forces do this by focusing on all living beings. Negative forces do this by focusing on self.
6. That there is much science out there that modern scientists do not understand.. How our very thoughts and intentions affect the world around us in a myriad number of ways not currently understood by the "majority."
7. That nothing is "wrong" with anyone. Nothing!!! Everyone is unique and will appear "different" in some way. Normal does not exist. The popular notion of taking therapy and school to be more "normal" is a huge source of misery, instead of just accepting how you are.
8. Every person here on earth is going through their own journey. They are learning what they need to learn. So leave them alone. You cannot judge others by the criteria you have accepted for your life.
9. No one else's opinions matter. Only your own. This is your reality. Own it.
10. If you attempt to live as a faithful part of the herd, you are slowing down your development. This is true, because you are accepting mind control of the masses, instead of investigating reality for yourself. Look within.
11. This life is like a carnival ride. It's on a set track, and while you may move around and shift within your carnival car, you will always feel the pressure of the safety bar keeping you seated. Everyone's ride is different. It's all about the experience. There's no need to worry. You have no control truly. What little control you think you have, is nothing compared to the amount of psychological conditioning you received as a child through parents, family, school, TV and books. By the time you are an adult, the accumulated programming from all those influences in your brain has robbed you of any supposed "free-will." And now, as an adult with the habit pattern of "education" over "investigation," you continue to flounder in your search for meaning.
12. Since this life is a carnival ride, you can do no wrong. Whatever happens to you in life is part of the ride. How you respond internally is up to you. But how you respond externally is up to the ride, not you. How many times have you done something, when you didn't really want to? And how many times did you not do sommething, when you wanted to? We all say, "Oh, it was because of this or that" or "That is why I did/didn't do that." But by reacting to things based on your environment, you give your own free-will to whatever or whoever is in "control" of the environment. You are basically a passenger trapped on a run-away-train. When it derails, you die. So try to learn, and not react. Do not become happy nor sad. Reacting like that to a training simulator is illogical. When you see other people know they are on their own carnival ride or run-away-train, be compassionate. It's a long, hard ride.
Everything we encounter, be it music, TV, family, school, basically the whole of life, is a constant lesson for the one experiencing it. This is obvious to most on a surface level, but this journal is not about surface levels. It is about realizations that occur in the heart, the place where real change occurs.
When you watch a movie or listen to a song, that thing is speaking directly to you, influencing you in some way. Depending on your mindset, be it positive, neutral, or negative, your interpretation of the message will be skewed toward that mindset. Now the question begs: Who or What is in control of the message? Is it a natural occurrence, or is it being intelligently guided?
