Wilderness Trip Day 2 October 11th, 2010
Day two, you ask? What happened to Day one? Well, I'll start from the beginning.
Day 1 Kim and I had a great trip up here to Golden Trout Wilderness Trailhead, called "Jerkey" Trailhead. Upon
arriving, there was a bit of confusion as to where I should start. There was a volunteer ranger around, so we
asked him. His response; "Well, by HORSE, it takes 45 minutes to get to the first split, another 45 minutes to
the second split, another 45 to the third split, then another 4 hours to get to the lakes, where you're going."Upon hearing that, I should have re-thought this whole thing, But, stubborn as always, I disregarded the fact
that horses walk 4 times faster than humans. It was over 80 degrees and I knew water could be an issue. But
for some odd reason, I had assumed that even though the lakes would take me one or two days to get to, that
the river itself would appear MUCH sooner, solving my water problems. So Kim followed me for a little, then we
hugged and kissed and she left. I was completely alone and resource-less, except for my small amount of gear.
I brought no food, so that I would be forced to get it from the land.The land is beautiful. But at first, I wasn't able to appreciate much of it, as I was so tired, all my focus was on
keeping moving forward. I had to stop and rest countless times. Upon one such rest, I noticed something,
someone had left a medical bottle of WEED on a log, half full!! WTF?>! Damn stoners, lol. I pocketed it, of
course. I wasn't sure if I would be able to smoke it, since I didn't bring a lighter, just my firesteel. Halfway before
I made camp, I noticed how tired I was getting, and what slow progress I was making, It was at this point that I
began to doubt the river was close by. A little fear crept in. But I renounced that fear and kept truckin'. The sun
was getting low in the sky, sometimes completely hidden by the peaks I was surrounded by. And so, as I
hiked, I began looking for a good place to set up camp. But I waited too long. I new I didn't have time to build a
fire AND shelter, so I opted to find a natural shelter and build a fire there. I came upon this great big boulder
formation, one of the largest I'd seen, and it had a perfect little over-hang that I could just squeeze into. Since
shelter had been found, a fire was seriously needed. Had I built my own shelter, it would have been insulated
from the cold. But this natural one was very drafty and cold. So I gathered some firewood, used dry pine
needles for tinder and began throwing sparks at it with my firesteel. Over-and-over-and-over!! It just would NOT
ignite! And by this time, it was completely dark, only star light provided any illumination for me.So I couldn't search for better tinder. In a flash of genius, I tore a page out of my "Forager's Harvest" and tried
to use that. But glossy stock just doesn't work well. I think my problem, was the air is too thin. And I was
dealing with "altitude sickness". 10,000 ft up, most people that get it feel nauseous and get headaches. I was nauseous
and threw up twice, losing precious fluid. I knew I had a cold, COLD night ahead of me. So I put on every piece
of clothing I had. My thermal underwear, my extra pair of socks, my Nike shirt and my sleeveless shirt. The pair of shorts I
used as a pillow. Since I stopped at dark, I'm guessing it was seven or eight. So, for the next 12 hours or more,
I tried to sleep, since I was SO exhausted. Oh, and I wore my hoody sweatshirt. But sleep would not come. I couldn't stop shivering, my teeth kept chattering, and since I had spotted bear
scat less than 500 yards away, (with both bear and mountain lion tracks on the trail) and had no fire to ward off
mountain lions, I kept one eye open and felt a true instinctual fear. Visions of being ripped from my hidey-hole
by large teeth and claws haunted me as I drifted into sleep for minutes at a time, then back awake for 30 minutes or so. All
night it was a miserable HELL. I tried every position imaginable, but my feet kept sticking out, so they were by far
the coldest part of me. Kim would have fit perfect. Baby, if you're reading and/or transcribing this for me, I just
want you to know, I love you. I love you so much. You are a truly amazing woman, and I will never forget that.
You can choose to omit that from the typed version, or leave it in. :)So, I watch the sunrise, which would be awesome, but I'm just too cold to care. I did find a chokecherry bush
loaded with cherries, which I picked, they tasted really good but I was still nauseous from either: a) lack of food;
b) lack of water; or c) altitude sickness. Still am, in fact.I packed up my gear, and got back on the trail. I had gone for, maybe 30 minutes to an hour, and it kept
getting steeper and steeper. I realized, that even if I could somehow make it over the mountain into the river
valley, I would be so exhausted. And I already WAS exhausted. It occurred to me that my body had already used
it's energy stores, and would be using fat to keep me alive. That process requires water. Which I didn't have. Then I imagined, after
17 days out there, I would have to hike back, weak , and no-telling in what frame of mind. It was a hard decision to make, with so much time and energy put into the mountain lake excursion. So, I decided to head
back, and then figure things out from there.The trip back was long and arduous. I was actually quite proud of myself from the day before. The walk back
was mostly downhill, and I STILL had to stop a lot. So the fact that I made it that far UPHILL blew me away.
"So Here I sit, broken-hearted. Had to shit, but only farted."
That sums up how I feel right now. I have no idea
if I will wait it out here, and have Kim pick me up on the 27th like we planned, or have a ranger call and come
early. We shall see. I have water here, and big outhouses. If I have to, I can sleep in there.
October 13th, 2010 - Wednesday
So maybe you are wondering, what happened? Well, as I was writing Monday's entry, the words of The Clash
kept ringing in my ears; "Should I Stay or Should I Go Now? If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be
double." Which is kind of funny, because during the entire 4 mile hike back to trailhead. I had "I Saw The Sign" stuck in
my head. "Life is demanding, without understanding". Man, truer words were never spoken. So, as I pondered,
I looked at the camp sites around the trailhead. Very nice, but I still needed to make a fire and shelter if I
planned to stay.It was at this point that I came to terms with the most debilitating factor of my trip. Altitude sickness. The website I had done most of my research on this area with had warned of it. I had
vastly underestimated how serious it can be in a survival situation. In all the survival shows I'd watched and
research I'd done, the one thing I hadn't factored on was, what if, in my survival scenario, I became exhausted
or sick? I rarely get sick, and I figured I wouldn't get exhausted, even with my over-heating condition, because I
could go at my own pace. I was wrong on both counts. The steep 4 mile hike up the Sierra Nevada's Sequoia
National Forest and into the Golden Trout Wilderness had been way more strenuous than I had planned. One
of my toes had a blister the size of a marble, and many more were forming. There was zero electricity or
phones, or people for that matter. The closest settlement was 17 miles away.And now, with exhaustion, and the altitude sickness, I could no longer think clearly or summon the energy to try
to make a fire of shelter. I now understood how it was possible for Chris McCandless to die out there in Alaska, so close to civilization. I didn't want to die, so I decided to get Kim to come get me. I felt like a huge failure, for not completing what I
set out to do. Now that I knew I wanted to go home, the only task left was to wait for someone to come to the end of this 17
mile road in the middle of nowhere. It looked like I had yet another cold night here in the wilderness.But with the outhouses and water spicket, I felt much better about my chances. One problem; the altitude
sickness was getting worse. I puked twice more, felt weak, disoriented and the unbearable nausea was the
worst I'd ever felt. And then, just an hour or so before dark, a jeep pulled up. THANK YOU!!!! The mexican
driver and his filipino friend, after hearing my story, agreed to go to a phone and call Kim for me. They even
gave me FOOD!! I took two bites and threw it up. How sad, to be blessed so, and have it wasted. I put the rest
of my burrito in my backpack and hoped the ants wouldn't find it. I knew there was a chance the guys might not call for me, but I was hopeful. With renewed hope and energy, I
entered the outhouse and hunkered down for the night. As expected, the concrete was cold and hard, even
with all my clothing on. For a second night in a row, I was sleeping in my cowboy boots. "Hmmm..." I thought,
"Maybe this is what being a cowboy is like" But then I remembered, Cowboys have HORSES and that I
wouldn't be suffering like this, had I one as well. In fact, the trail to the lakes is mainly used by folks on horseback, and part of it is even a cattle drive during
certain times of the year. Pretty narrow, too. They must go single-file.
As you can imagine, with no moon, no electricity and no fire, that mountain was pretty dark, especially in the
outhouse. I tried to sleep but every time the monstrous wind blew through the trees, it sounded like freeway
traffic, and I kept hoping it was Kim. Those guys hadn't come back, so I assumed they were either waiting till
tomorrow to come back, or they flaked on me. At one thirty in the morning, I found out.
KIM ARRIVED!!!
The drive from Orange County is 6 hours so it took her a while, but she made it!!!When she arrived, my worries were put to rest. She wasn't mad, she wasn't disappointed, or even grumpy. She
was just as happy to see me as I was to see her. After hugging for what seemed a very blissful eternity, I drove
us back to Orange County, fighting nausea the whole way.So, I spent two sunsets in a true mountain wilderness. Far short of the 17 days I had hope for , but I did learn a
few things.1) Bears and Mountain Lions are much scarier when you are sleeping under a boulder with no fire.2) I'm no Mountain-Man. At least not a 10,000 ft high Mountain-Man. Altitude sickness is NO JOKE.3) That wilderness skills should be nearly perfected in a controlled environment, BEFORE a wilderness trip.4) That blind excitement and a Superman complex can end very badly.5) And this is the most important. I have gained perspective. All the little things I bitch and moan about are
nothing when confronted with a true survival scenario. Had I been just a day or two later in getting Altitude Sickness, there would have been no way I could have
made it back to the trailhead. Unless someone stumbled upon me, I would have died. I was lucky. I have a
new-found appreciation for the things that truly matter in my life. Namely, Kim, Dad and a hope for a better life
through simplicity. My dream of self-sufficiency is not over, just delayed. I believe it will be a "piece-by-piece"
experience now, instead of a crash-course.
All in all, this was a very humbling experience. And maybe that is why I had it. In order to go through the
transformation that I hope to achieve, my ego must die. And it's well on its way. By the way, I completely
forgot to bring my camera. But when Kim left to go back, after dropping me off, she took a great pic that I'll
post, of the mountains I was in.
Pretty ragged after my experience!
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